While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
