Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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