I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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