so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
