doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
