I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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