You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
