Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
