never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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