Duck Duck Cougar?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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