Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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