totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
