i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
