you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
