hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
