I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
