i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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