We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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