TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
