Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
