what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
