oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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