He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
