my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
