Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
