Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
