im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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