Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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