Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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