HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
His nipple licking is glorious
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