The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
