no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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