why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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