and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
"it" just moved
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
