1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
