Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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