id be glad to
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
