Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
