I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
