It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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