I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
4 words: hood of his car
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
As shirtless as possible
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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