He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
