question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let's get the cat blown out
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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