i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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