ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
