So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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