Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
