no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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