We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
