I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
