I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I love having hate sex.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
