We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
