I just made out with a guy for $7.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
