Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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