She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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